To treat people with respect

You brought them into this world. You need to help take care of them.

-Housing agency employee

Let me tell you the full story. Settle in.

My mom was considering her housing options. We were unsure whether or not she would qualify for assistance through Section 8. We called the housing agency in the county my mom wanted to live in to ask their requirements.

It was difficult for me to communicate with the lady who answered the phone. We had a hard time understanding each other. I was looking for specific income and asset thresholds. She was more focused on defining income. At the time I made this call my mother was unemployed and I made the mistake of saying she had no income. The lady on the phone explained to me that any money or goods my mom received was considered income. She actually said, "If you buy toilet paper for her, that's income."

She also refused to believe my mom was currently living in a house without running water.

After asking repeatedly, the lady would not give me specific "income" and asset qualifications. I was frustrated. I considered calling the state housing agency to complain about the level of customer service I received. Instead, my mom and I decided to give this lady the benefit of the doubt. I had called at lunch time. She may have been having a bad day. I may not have communicated well with her.

My husband works in the IT department of the state housing agency, so I asked him for help. Within minutes one of his co-workers provided me with the information I was looking for. My mom would qualify for Section 8 assistance. The next step would be to go to the local office during the two hours each month when they allow people to sign up and put her name on the waiting list. (The wait is generally six to twelve months I was told. When your name comes up, you officially apply and then receive assistance if you qualify.)

A couple weeks later we pulled into the parking lot of the local office. It wasn't as crowded as we had anticipated. My mom confided to me on our way in, "I hope they have a private area for us to give our information. It's embarrassing to say all of that in front of other people."

A paper sign on the door told us what would be required when we stepped through. (Basically, if you can't provide this information, come back when you can... during our two hour window next month.)

Once inside, a lady standing behind a tall desk in a lobby area asked us to take a number and pointed to a room where everyone was waiting. With that one sentence I matched her voice to the lady who had answered my phone call.

We took our number and found seats in the room. People were making small talk and "the line" was moving quickly. Every few minutes a worker would emerge from the hallway and call a number. I assume those people were interviewed in offices. We weren't able to see or hear them after they walked down the hallway.

The lady in the lobby was also interviewing people. She would not come to the room, but simply called the next number from her desk in the lobby. We didn't have any problem hearing her, or the people whose applications she was taking.

I hoped we would get another worker.

People in the waiting room were mumbling about her rudeness.

I could hear her interviewing a man whose face I never saw. He worked in the automotive field, but things had been slow for the business that employed him.

"Right now we're living on $330 a month," he said.

He continued to answer the questions but there was a sense of urgency in his voice. "How long will it be?" he asked. "I really need something soon," he said. "Is there any way I can get help quicker?" And finally, "I just really need a place for my kids."

"Well, you brought them into this world. You need to help take care of them," the lady said.

I couldn't believe my ears. My mom and I looked at each other, wide-eyed. There was a visible and audible reaction around the room.

"I don't think that's her place," one said.

"This is worse than the food stamp office," another said.

I was seething. I pulled out my cell phone and began typing a text to my husband. I would find out how to report this lady. That was just inexcusable!

Before I could finish the text my mom's number was called. By the lady. I wanted to stall, but my mom was already out of her seat. She told me later she had decided immediately to be as overwhelmingly nice to this lady as she possibly could be.

The interaction went well. I felt ready to pounce on her if she said one thing out of line to my mom. She didn't.

I searched for a name tag, a badge, a business card that would identify her. I thought I remembered her name from the phone call, but I didn't feel like that was certain enough. What if two workers sounded similar? What if I remembered the name wrong?

I wondered if anything I might do could affect my mom's application. I decided that would be inappropriate and my husband could again connect me to the right people at the state level if that were to happen.

With her application complete we were ready to walk away. I felt like I needed this lady's name to report her, and I didn't know any other way to get it than to ask. So I did. And she told me.

There we stood with the desk between us. To thank her and walk away felt disingenuous. She was the person I was ultimately trying to reach. She was smiling and I was smiling. She seemed almost... open.

Before I could stop them, the words spilled out of my mouth: "I'm sure you have a tough job, but I feel like you've been really insensitive to people this morning."

She didn't seem open anymore. "How have I been insensitive?!"

I could have made a list. Truly. But I couldn't get that man out of my head, and probably if not for that one interaction I wouldn't have said or done anything. So I planned to start with him.

"The gentleman who was here earlier. You told him that he brought his kids into the world and he needed to help take care of them. That wasn't very nice and I don't feel like that is an appropriate thing for you to say."

The seconds felt like hours. What was going to happen next? Did the people in the room hear me? Did they feel empowered? Should I ask for a supervisor?

"Maybe you should take some additional sensitivity training or something."

Did I just say that out loud?

"We only have two hours to process everyone's application," she said.

That's not an excuse to be rude. Maybe you should allot more than two hours a month for this.

She had already called the next number. I wasn't sure what to say or do next, so I walked out the door.

Sitting in the car, shaking and crying the second-guessing began. Should I have stood up immediately and introduced myself to that man and addressed the misbehavior as soon as it happened? Should I have not said anything and just filed a formal report? Should I have not left until I spoke with a supervisor or saw some tangible change or result? Did I just make things worse for the people left waiting?

And the question I've been mulling for weeks: What should I do now?

I thought about filing a formal report. I thought about contacting the local newspaper and doing some investigating, possibly even undercover. I thought about going to the housing agency during their two hour window every month and interviewing people to see how the interactions made them feel. I thought about also doing that at the local food stamp office. Sounds like they may have some customer service issues there, too. Or just going and talking to the people and brainstorming ways to help them in less than six months, in more than a two hour time frame. Or offering to sit or stand with them as they answered the questions. 

I thought about surveying my friends about how to handle it. I thought about writing an open letter to social service workers, asking them to strive for kindness in their interactions with their clients.

So far, I haven't done any of those things. 

The other night a blog post popped up on my newsfeed retelling the story of a woman standing up for the mistreatment of a minority couple in front of her in the grocery checkout line. I thought back to this incident and felt like I could relate to her.

As I have reflected on that encounter that day, I have felt a range of emotions. The lady's words underscore many popular misconceptions about impoverished people and those who seek assistance from the government. There are many examples of how programs meant to help don't quite reach what they're aiming for. And the people's reactions and interactions only highlight the destructiveness it can bring. 

I'm not sure I did the right thing that day. On a scale, I don't think I landed at the bottom. But my reaction was not perfect by any means. And I don't even know what kind of impact it had. I hope the lady became more aware of how she was treating people. I hope the people in the waiting room were encouraged and reminded that even though they are asking for a hand up doesn't mean they should be talked down to. But I could have just made things worse. I may never know.

Still, I can't help but thinking that doing something is better than doing nothing. 

What if we all stood up in our little, imperfect ways? What if instead of grumbling or acting out passively or just wallowing in apathy or despair or hopelessness or powerlessness we chose to stand next to our brothers and sisters -- like we would for our brothers and sisters -- when they are so blatantly wronged? (And with the understanding that those on the other side are also our brothers and sisters.)

I think we could make a difference. 

And I think people are already making a difference by standing against injustices in their own quiet and peaceful ways. I hope that by sharing experiences like these we can spur one another on. I hope this is just the beginning of something beautiful.

Note: This post was forwarded (without my knowledge) to the state housing agency and I have been contacted personally by staff in the Frankfort and Louisville offices. While the housing agency that we had this experience at only falls under the jurisdiction of one, both have expressed deep apologies that any housing employee would act in this way. Both have extended offers to help my mom in any way possible. In short, I have been overwhelmed by the immediate and heartfelt response. And am reminded that while some government employees are not stellar, many are devoted, hardworking and often don't get the recognition or respect they deserve.

What to do when mistaken for a stripper

Yes, I write this from my middle-class pedestal. I’ve never fallen on life-threatening hard times, but I know this: Women, every single one of them, are worth more than their bodies. In an ideal world, everyone would see that.

-Amberly McAteer

I woke up and reached for my phone to check the time.  I had missed a call and received a text while I slept.  From a local number not saved in my phone.  No voice message, but the text came an hour after the call.  Simply, Hey.  I had a couple people in mind of who this might be, but didn't know for sure.

So, I replied: Hi. Who is this?

Derek

Now I had no idea who this could be.  This is where I may have made my first mistake (though some of you may be thinking I had already made a mistake), but it was early and my head was hurting and I reasoned this guy had heard my voice -- and my name -- when he got my voicemail. 

I'm sorry. Derek?... I'm Amy... Were you meaning to reach me?

His answer: Platinum

My stomach dropped.  That sounds like the name of a strip club, doesn't it?  I replied with a question mark, and then did an internet search.  Turns out there's a Platinum Salon in the area and a Platinum Plumbing Company.  But you don't normally make hair appointments at 2 am nor handle water emergencies via a one-word text. 

Most likely a local Platinum Club where sugar daddies meet sugar babies.

I figured my punctuated reply would be the last I heard from Derek, but I still couldn't help but think about who he might be -- his character.  His intentions with the girl the call and texts were meant for.  And what kind of life he must have to engage in that type of behavior.  And what about her?  Who was she?  Did she feel desperate?  Or unloved?  Or worthless?  Or was she feeding some addiction?  Or just trying to feed her babies?

In college, I worked the night shift at a hotel next to a similar type of establishment.  The small pieces of that industry I was exposed to there -- when greasy men and mostly-naked women would check in late at night -- was enough to make my skin crawl.

Another message box: Did i meet u at platinum

Okay, this guy was leaving less and less room for doubt.  I felt sorry for my secret sister.  I wondered if this guy had been such a creep she gave him the wrong number, or if he had just fumbled the number himself and got me.  I also felt sorry for him.  He obviously wasn't taught love or self-worth appropriately, either.  (And... well... I don't think this whole phone thing was going the way he had planned.)

And though I was safe at home on my couch I felt like I had come face-to-face with a man set on taking advantage of a woman.

Some disagree with me that an adult consenting to sexual acts in exchange for money is being taken advantage of.  Some might also argue that I really had no idea what Derek's true intentions were.  Still, I felt compelled to respond:

No, I have never been to Platinum.  Is that a "gentleman's" club?  I am sorry if I am being presumptuous, but I hope you were not trying to contact a woman to use her body.  I understand the allure of physical looks and pleasure alone, but women are so much more than that.  If that is all you are after, I would encourage you to seek out a woman who you can value and cherish and love and enjoy fully and completely, who will also value and respect you for all of who you are.  Commit to one another fully and for life.  It really is so much better that way.  I am speaking from experience.  Again, sorry if I misinterpreted this interaction.  I just feel passionately about this issue.

I usually am pretty agreeable and flexible on most issues.  I take a live and let live stance in my life and occupy a world filled with gray.  But for me, the commercial sex industry -- pornography, prostitution and all that goes with it -- is just downright unacceptable.  Intolerable.  I believe we can never, ever be okay with anyone trivializing sex to a business transaction.  (Which I also believe is actually impossible to do -- it will always be MORE than that, even in those one-time instances when money or goods change hands.)  It's even more deplorable when it is used to deliberately exploit and abuse.

I know many of my fellow humans, many of my fellow Americans, even many of my fellow women disagree with me on this.  That a little fun never hurt anyone.  That boys will be boys and it's one of womankind's longest-standing "professions."  But it is never okay to objectify and reduce a woman (or man, for that matter) down to just something pretty to look at or play with.

The more people who stand together on this one point, the better our world will be.

Please join me in taking every opportunity you can -- even those instances when you may be mistaken for a stripper -- to send a clear message about the true value and full worth of a woman.
---
To read more about my thoughts on the commercial sex industry as it relates to human trafficking, visit this previous post. (Explicit content warning)

Thankfulness Project: Day 4

Today I am thankful for those who are fully committed to justice and to mercy.  Not in some statutory way, but in waging war against the outrageous wrongs of our world and working to make them right. 

I am thankful for those people who devote their energy, their lives, their very well-being to love and fairness and balance in our world.  Who sacrifice their own rights and privileges to help others gain freedom from whatever chains bind them.

I am thankful that it is work that is seeing progress.  Sometimes I forget this.  I was reminded when I read Corrie Ten Boom's The Hiding Place.  The Holocaust was sickening and tragic and horrible beyond words.  But devoted people saved persecuted lives despite it.  Sometimes at the cost of their own.  And their work, their prayers, their unwillingness to back down brought an end to a cruel and gruesome regime. 

I must be reminded: Things are better today than they have been.  I'm thankful for that.  But there is still work to be done and I am thankful for those who have suited up to do it. 

My eyes were opened earlier this year to the proliferation of modern day slavery.  There are all types of slaves of all ages all over the world (yes, even still in the United States of America).  I keep wanting to do more to help all the slaves, but my eyes, my mind, my heart, my actions are drawn back to the unspeakable horror of child sex trafficking. 

Though my words feel too weak, I am thankful for those who are committed to ending this injustice.  A friend offered the most fitting description I have heard of these brave souls: They're going right up to the very gates of hell to battle.

Since the Tread on Trafficking fundraiser this summer to benefit Love146, I've continued to follow this one agency's efforts at the gates of hell.  I'm thankful they're willing to go there and I'm thankful for the children they're saving.

--- --- ---



His Name Was David. from Love146 on Vimeo.

A year ago, we opened a feeding center in the heart of a community in the Philippines where child slavery was thriving — where pedophiles preyed on impoverished families and even some parents felt compelled to sell their children for sex.

We wanted to close the gap between desperation and exploitation, so we began to provide food, medicine and education… some of the needs that push families and their children into the bondage of sexual exploitation. And we began listening to the children.



Of the many children who came through our doors, it didn’t take us long to spot four girls that were in especially serious danger. We began to notice heartbreaking injuries that could only come from sexual exploitation. In their childlike ways, they disclosed that their parents were selling them to pedophiles.

Hands tied by protocol, hearts torn to intervene. We’ve faced this before:

 

Not knowing what happened to
the girl who wore 146 haunts us everyday.
We vowed this story would end differently.

Everything inside of us wanted to take these girls out of their community. But it’s never as simple as snatching a child up. At the time, we could only legally provide so much care and it was gut-wrenching to know that when they walked out of our feeding center, they were walking into a horror that no child should ever face.



Love is tenacious…
After months of partnering with local law enforcement and working with the Philippines Department of Social Welfare & Development, we gained full custody of Camila, Claudia, Sonya and Ariel. They’re safe and sound in our Round Home, and we’re looking forward to celebrating this holiday season with them in our family.

-Love146 blog post, Love is tenacious, by Ryan Day

I'm also thankful we can support such amazing work.

On Empathy

Consider this a call to pause and think about fellow human beings.  Really examine them deeply.

No assuming. No judging. 

No problem-solving or policy-making.

No looking at their world through your eyes.

Just get to know them.  Really know them.  Because they are worth knowing and understanding and loving.

I believe every human being is ineffably sacred in God's sight.  This implies a moral responsibility on my part to do my very best to treat them accordingly.  If God loves each person, followers of God's way must love each person too.  This is a mystical vision.  It is a mountaintop perspective.  It is very hard to sustain it, especially in the vicious street fights of politics.
-David Gushee, Sacred Conversations (please read the entire linked essay)

The gospel is powerful medicine, but ultimately it is not administered by volumes or votes or verdicts.  It is administered by a single trembling hand holding up a spoon before the willing face of another.

-Thomas Schmidt, Straight and Narrow: Compassion and Clarity in the Homosexuality Debate

 

 

I can't understand why people don't see me for all that's me... not just some trifling girl with a baby. I'm more than that, you know?

-Arlette, quoted in Don't Call Us Out of Name: The Untold Lives of Women and Girls in Poor America (p. 22)

One level is be nice, just be polite. Another level is to admit that there may be something you don't know. And then a third level, and this is the hardest, try to put yourself in the other person's shoes. Try to actually see the world empathetically the way that the other person is seeing it. Sincerely make that effort.
-David Blankenhorn, On Being, Civil Conversations Project

 

 

Act 177: Politics aside, love first.

-Plain Jane Activism

 

 

Lately, I have been ending speeches by saying, 'The two most radical things you can do in America are to slow down and to talk to each other.'  If you do these things, you will improve our country.

-Mary Pipher, Writing to Change the World

 

 

The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day. 

 -David Foster Wallace, 2005 Commencement Speech at Kenyon College

 

The End of Sex Trafficking

***WARNING: GRAPHIC ADULT CONTENT IN POST AND LINKS*** 

If there were no demand for commercial sex, sex trafficking would not exist in the form it does today.  This reality underscores the need for continued strong efforts to enact policies and promote cultural norms that disallow paying for sex.

-2013 Trafficking in Persons Report, page 27

The 2013 Trafficking in Persons Report goes on to give concrete suggestions to end sex trafficking as we know it:

Government Policies to Address Demand for Commercial Sex: Zero-tolerance policies for employees, uniformed service members, and contractors paying for sex -- even if legal in the country where these individuals work -- and commensurate training for such individuals can help raise awareness regarding the subtle and brutal nature of sex trafficking and how individuals subjected to this crime are victimized through coercion.  Moreover, by implementing these policies in procurement activities, governments can have an impact on a wide range of private-sector actors as well. 

Beyond Government: Cultural Leadership in Addressing Demand: Rejecting long held notions such as 'boys-will-be-boys' and sending the clear message that buying sex is wrong is not just a task for governments, but will require partnerships throughout society, including the faith and business communities.  Business leaders can adopt codes of conduct that prohibit purchasing sex.  And leaders in civil society -- from teachers to parents to ministers -- must foster the belief that it is everyone's responsibility to do their part to reduce the demand for commercial sex.  It is especially important to reach young men with a strong message of demand reduction to help them understand the exploitation that permeates the commercial sex trade. 

It is every person's individual responsibility to think about how their actions may contribute to human trafficking.  Laws and policies, partnerships and activism will continue to be critical to this struggle, but it will also be the day-to-day decisions of individual men and women to reject exploitation that will bring an end to modern slavery. 

Sadly, our culture has grown increasingly comfortable with the X-rated industry.  To expect an end to prostitution and pornography -- if such an endeavor is even possible -- seems absurd to them.  While you'd be hard pressed to find people who are okay with sex trafficking in any form, many believe that treating sex as a business exchange between two consenting adults (whether on-screen or in-person) is perfectly acceptable. 

The Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons makes it clear that it is not at all acceptable because it perpetuates modern-day slavery.  In a very real sense, when you are paying for sex you are enslaving people.

I hold personal beliefs that make consumption of commercialized sex in any form unwise, unhealthy and unacceptable on a moral level for many reasons.  If you happen to be one of many who disagree with me, I would hope the realization that contributing to the industry also contributes to the bondage of women (and men) and children would be enough to compel you to abstain.

I did some very uncomfortable -- and at times, nauseating -- research on this. 

This 11 page fact sheet on prostitution, pornography and trafficking blatantly states the undeniable dangers of commercial sex.  Consider these statistics (all taken from the link):

• 85 - 95% of those in prostitution want to escape it, but have no other options for survival.
• 70 - 95% were physically assaulted in prostitution.
• 65 - 95% of those in prostitution were sexually assaulted as children.
• Early adolescence is the most frequently reported age of entry in any type of prostitution.
• The death rate for women and girls in prostitution is 40 times higher than the average death rate for females.
• Countries with legalized prostitution also have a greater inflow of human trafficking.

***All statistics are cited in the link.

According to researcher Donna Hughes, the average age of girls in prostitution has declined each year for the past decade. 

For those who believe viewing pornography is a different and maybe even more acceptable act, I must emphasize that pornography and prostitution are inextricably woven together.  Both are equally contributing to the human trafficking problem.

According to that same fact sheet from above, more than half of all prostitutes in one study reported that pornography was used to teach them what was expected.  And more than 80% were shown pornography by customers to illustrate the types of activities they wanted to engage in.

In a 2005 report in the Michigan Journal of International Law, Catherine MacKinnon effectively posited that when you make pornography of a woman, you make a prostitute out of her.  Not to mention countless studies are reporting  that pornography is increasingly showing activities in which women are slapped, beaten, tortured, raped and degraded in a variety of ways.

Here's the scary part about that: While I was in college I attended a guest lecture by a man who said he lost everything to pornography.  He had an addiction which most people who view pornography do not suffer from.  But he still spoke candidly about the dangers of viewing pornography.  He, and others I have heard since (including a Men's Health article I found when researching for this post), talk about a "mirror neuron" effect that happens when men view pornography.  They then are inclined to act out what they watch.  You can see how the connection between more violent images and mirror neurons is frightening.  For all women.

I will conclude by quoting a columnist, Amberly McAteer, whose words I stumbled across in my research.  After reading just two of her posts I learned that we disagree on the monogamous, marital relationship, but we are both firm, firm believers in the grave dangers -- to men and women -- of prostitution:

 Yes, I write this from my middle-class pedestal. I’ve never fallen on life-threatening hard times, but I know this: Women, every single one of them, are worth more than their bodies. In an ideal world, everyone would see that.

And so, it really is that simple.  Stop consuming commercial sex.  Pornography and prostitution in any form.  No exceptions, no excuses.  Stand for that. 

Sex trafficking will end.  Women will be valued.  And society will be much, much better off for it.

---

If you or someone you know suffers with inappropriate sexual urges or desires or would like help managing abstention from pornography or prostitution, contact a professional trained to help.

What now?

1,018,831 steps.  1,300 dollars.  We did it.    More than fifty people donated.  More than twenty walked with me.  And around a hundred or so promoted my personal campaign through social media.  678 treaders raised $52,329 for Love146 to continue the fight against child sex trafficking around the world.

To everyone who helped, thank you!

Tread on Trafficking is over, but the work continues.  I hope those of you who joined me in this fundraiser will not stop your efforts there.

While protecting children is at the top of my priority list, adults bound by forced labor are just as worthy of freedom.  Child sex trafficking is just part of the modern day slavery problem.  We must work to free all 27 million of the world's slaves.  Men, women and children.

Here are some of my suggestions to continue the fight for freedom:

• Educate yourself about the problem.  I wrote a blog post in April that includes several links, books and resources offering information about modern-day slavery.  Since that post, the  Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons released its Trafficking in Persons Report for 2013. 

• Consume wisely.  For many reasons, we would all do well to critically evaluate all we consume.  Do we really need those clothes or that gadget?  Should we make changes to our diet -- for our health, for the environment, to save food for our neighbors?  I could probably write a whole series of posts about our culture of consumption, but will stop with just those three sentences.  The focus here is not on the quantity we consume but the quality. 

We live in a time when we can be more informed than ever before about the products we consume.  We can ask questions about where something came from and get answers.  Ask those questions and strive not to contribute your finances to slave owners.

Free2Work did a survey of the apparel industry and graded them on  the practices in place to prevent and address forced labor in their supply chain.  I've looked at the report and checked out the stores with the highest grades.  I'll admit, some of them offer not much more than white cotton t-shirts for $30.  We need more than white shirts and not all of us can afford those prices.  (Though I encourage everyone to reflect on the reasons behind higher prices of fair-trade products.)

But not all were obscure speciality companies.  Hanesbrands received an "A" grade.   (Read their Corporate Social Responsibility Statement here.)  Beyond Hanes, this includes Champion, Bali, Playtex, Just My Size, Beefy-T, C9, Celebrity, J.E. Morgan, One Hanes Place, Rinbros and others.  I haven't heard of all of those, but I have heard of Hanes.  And in my experience, they offer a wide range of quality apparel at affordable prices.  I remember picking out things from the Hanes catalog as a child (and we were poor). 

Check out their website -- I'm sure they won't be able to meet every single one of your clothing needs, but you'll probably be surprised at their prices and selection.  (And no, I'm in no way getting a commission.  I've just always loved their products and love them even more after learning how fair they are.)

• Watch for slavery.  One of the biggest lessons I've learned by studying modern day slavery is that it is all around us.  That sounds like some kind of overly-zealous scare tactic, but it is all across the world, including right here in America.  It's in your state and could even be in your neighborhood. 

This means we must be keenly aware of the people around us.  Trafficked people are in our service industries here in America.  Befriend your manicurist, hair stylist, housekeeper and maintenance worker as much as you can.  Most of these people are not being forced to do their job, but some are. 

I've also been more aware at airports, keeping my eye out for people who may be trafficked right in front of me.  If you do suspect trafficking or for more information on warning signs, contact the National Human Trafficking Resource Center .

• Continue supporting abolition.  I personally felt an instant connection to Love146, but they are not the only agency fighting slavery.  I have also been quite impressed by Free the Slaves and have been looking for ways to become more involved in their agency.  They were co-founded by a prolific modern-day abolitionist, Kevin Bales, and work internationally to educate entire villages of slaves, empowering them to free themselves.  Isn't that beautiful?  Freeing multi-generation slaves through education and empowerment?  As little as $56,000 can fund the several-year work to free an entire village.  Their model is amazing to me.  I would love to one day organize a campaign to fund those efforts.  Or better yet -- support the Free a Village,  Build a Movement campaign YOU organize.

I feel compelled to talk about one crucial piece of abolition.  Many experts say this one thing would totally eliminate sex trafficking.  It would eliminate the root of the problem.  I have given this simple solution a separate post, linked here, with an adult content disclaimer.

Week Seven Update

Taken from usps.com

My definition of freedom is deeper than most.  For so long my freedom was nonexistent.  My every move was watched, my every conversation was observed.  My clothing and food portions and options were at the mercy of another.  Living in fear and terror, I had no ability to make or understand decisions and my physical self seemed to belong to everyone but me.

- Withelma "T" Ortiz Walker Pettigrew, Human Trafficking Survivor, as quoted in the 2013 Trafficking in Persons Report

Today Secretary of State John Kerry released the 2013 Trafficking in Persons report.  I have only skimmed a couple sections.  It is not for the faint of heart.  It is hard for me to grasp the magnitude of slavery we face more than 150 years after the Emancipation Proclamation.  If the hardcore abolitionists of the 1800s couldn't wipe this out, I feel altogether incapable.

In remarks at the release of the report, Mr. Kerry said that abolitionist efforts can seem daunting.  They most certainly are.  He followed up that statement with this one: But it's the right effort.  Though I sometimes feel overwhelmed by human trafficking, and altogether sickened by child trafficking, I whole heartedly agree.

And I am encouraged by friends, family and co-workers who stand on the side of freedom, too. 

For the previous weeks that I secretly worried that I was doing Tread on Trafficking mostly alone, I have been overcome with an unbelievable outpouring of support this week.  People have stepped up in amazing ways -- with their feet, with their words and with their finances.

With each step taken by someone else, with each dollar donated and with each word of encouragement I was reminded just how blessed I am to be surrounded by so many wonderful people.

Thank you all for all you've done so far.  We have 11 more days to finish this strong.  I've set a new stepping goal of a combined one million steps.  You've already walked more than 200,000 steps alongside me and we have less than 300,000 steps to finish that new goal.  I'll do more than 100,000 of those myself -- you all please join me in the other 200,000.

$575 in donations poured in this week.  Amazing.  I am only $375 from reaching my original fundraising goal.  As I said on the very first day -- I am open to blowing that goal. Out. Of. The. Water.

Freedom!

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This fundraiser benefits www.love146.org. You may donate at www.stayclassy.org/amyrosekarr . If you can't donate, you can still 'like' and share my page on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

Why 10,146 steps? In honor of the girl who wore number 146 .

Week Six Update

But the girls are okay now.  They can afford to forgive.
-Love146 blogpost about survivors being reunited with their father

More than 200 miles logged so far with only 18 days remaining in the campaign.  When I took my first step I thought the steps would eventually come easier.  10,146 steps has been a challenge every day.  I'm thankful for all my friends and family who have taken some of those steps with me.  Who have encouraged me through words, hugs, treats and prayers. 

Thanks for your support.

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This fundraiser benefits www.love146.org. You may donate at www.stayclassy.org/amyrosekarr . If you can't donate, you can still 'like' and share my page on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

Why 10,146 steps? In honor of the girl who wore number 146 .

Weeks 4 & 5 Update

My idea of a safe home is where we nurse the bird's broken wing.  If we do well with our nursing, then the bird should be able to fly again and out of the safe home, and soar to the heights it was meant to reach.
- Dr. Gundlina Velazco, quoted in the Love146 blog post She Will Not Walk Alone*
*This linked blog post gives some graphic details of a rescued victim.

I am more than halfway finished with the fundraiser with more than 178 miles logged so far.  Four friends joined me in walking during week 4 when we visited them in Arizona.  I walked steps in two additional states, and at my favorite place on earth: Natural Bridge, KY. 

I am still at only 5% of my fundraising goal.  Please consider helping with these efforts.  I understand that many of my friends who are financially able to give already pour a lot of money into other worthwhile causes.  If you cannot make a monetary donation, please consider passing along my fundraising page.

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This fundraiser benefits www.love146.org. You may donate at www.stayclassy.org/amyrosekarr . If you can't donate, you can still 'like' and share my page on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

Why 10,146 steps? In honor of the girl who wore number 146 .

Week Three Update

Stats and stories can be overwhelming.  That is why Love146 chooses to focus on hope.  Lives can and are being restored.
-Love146 slavery book





Sometimes it is difficult to focus on hope.  This is one of those times.  It feels like there is too much hate, too much greed, too much wrong.  Too many filthy, nasty people free to do filthy, nasty things.

I would prefer to wallow but I continue to walk.  And cling to the hope that it will make a difference someway and things will get better someday.  Even when I can't see the details of how.

More than a quarter-million steps with nine people and three dogs across five states.

At five percent of my fundraising goal with five more weeks to go.

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This fundraiser benefits www.love146.org. You may donate at www.stayclassy.org/amyrosekarr . If you can't donate, you can still 'like' and share my page on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

Why 10,146 steps? In honor of the girl who wore number 146 .

Week Two Update

Walk boldly on that road ahead, no matter where it takes you.
-First Lady Michelle Obama

I walked a few of this week's steps into the gymnasium of my college alma mater to hear the First Lady address Eastern Kentucky University's College of Business and Technology and College of Education graduates.

I was excited when I first heard Mrs. Obama had chosen to come to EKU to honor their outstanding commitment to veterans.  But when the day arrived to actually hear her speak, I was feeling a bit indifferent about the whole thing.  I was exhausted and wondered if the effort was worth the trouble.

On the hour-long drive to campus, I decided it was.  I began reflecting on how poignant it is that I, a poor little girl who grew up in the hills of Eastern Kentucky, could graduate from college and then return to that college to hear an address from the wife of the leader of our country.  How even in this country founded on freedom and equality we would not have had the freedom or the equality to complete such a feat if this was Eastern Kentucky University's 1913 commencement.

That's beautiful progress.  Countless women took countless steps to make that possible.

I hope my steps will make progress toward freeing other little girls to achieve their dreams and goals.

142,044 steps across Kentucky, Indiana, Illinois, Missouri and Kansas with five people, two dogs and one sweet little neice who literally ran circles around me.  I'd be afraid to say how many steps she took.

I am still at five percent of my fundraising goal.

Six more weeks to go! Thanks, everyone, for your support so far.

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This fundraiser benefits www.love146.org. You may donate at www.stayclassy.org/amyrosekarr . If you can't donate, you can still 'like' and share my page on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

Why 10,146 steps? In honor of Girl 146 .

Week One Update

We are the orphan boys and the forgotten girls.
We are lost and far from home.
We are the fatherless, born of dust and nothingness.
We are lost and far from home.

There is no love like yours in all the earth.
There is no love like yours in the universe.
There is no love that heals my broken heart.
There is no love like yours at all.

-Orphan's Song, Karla Adolphe, www.entertheworshipcircle.com

This song came on tonight as I was walking my steps for Tread on Trafficking and I couldn't help but think of the children I am walking for and the hope I have for them.

This first week has been challenging and rewarding.

I have walked 71,022 steps in five different states.  Five people and two dogs walked 29,514 steps with me. I am at five percent of my fundraising goal.

I also watched my husband walk across a stage to mark the completion of one of his goals: A college degree.  And it is my hope that our steps will help free enslaved children to take their own steps toward their own dreams.

Seven more weeks to go!  Thanks, everyone, for your support so far.

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This fundraiser benefits www.love146.org.  You may donate at www.stayclassy.org/amyrosekarr .  If you can't donate, you can still 'like' and share my page on Facebook and Twitter.

Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

Why 10,146 steps?   In honor of Girl 146 .

Running for freedom...

In college -- inspired by a Bible verse (1 Corinthians 9:24) -- I summed up my life's mission with four words: Run for the prize.

My mission is not so much a physical one.  I'm not a runner.  Not literally.

But I am fascinated -- intrigued -- by people who are. 

I have heard many of them say that they run for the people who can't.  Those who may not have the energy or ability to run.

When I learned of Love146's summer fundraiser -- Tread on Trafficking -- I immediately thought of my athletic friends who would be perfectly suited for such a challenge.  I began praying that one of them would pick up the cause.

As I delved deeper into the issue of human trafficking and slavery, and specifically the child sex trafficking travesty that Love146 is fighting against, I felt more and more convicted that I should be the one to run for these girls. 

Mainly because I can't fathom their bondage.  Because I know they would surely run and play free if they could.  Because I agree with the definition of success that includes the criterion of using my freedom to free others.

So, I have decided to participate in the fundraiser myself and to run in an effort to free these children.

Well... my version of running.  Walking.

10,146 steps a day.  In honor of Girl 146.  Starting today and every day until June 30.

And I'm asking for your help. 

First of all 10,146 steps a day is a lot, and I have at least four travel days scheduled in these next two months.  I'm not even sure how I'll do it.  So, encourage me and root for me however it is that you choose to encourage people.

If you see me, walk with me.  No, seriously.  Did I mention 10,146 steps is a lot?  No time for sitting.  I'd love to visit, but can we do it while we take a stroll?  Plus, I'd love to include you on this journey of taking physical steps toward ending child trafficking.  That would be beautiful.

Start your own Tread on Trafficking fundraiser if you'd like.

And finally, if you feel so moved and are able, please donate.  My personal goal is to raise $1,000.  But I also really enjoy blowing my goals out of the water.

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Learn more about modern-day slavery here.

What child abuse prevention means to me...

To believe in a child is to believe in the future.  Through their aspirations they will save the world.  With their combined knowledge the turbulent seas of hate and injustice will be calmed.  They will supply humanity with music and beauty it has never known.  They will endure.  To these ends, I pledge my life's work.
-Henry James




Nearly thirty years ago, a child was born into a large, loving family.  Planned for by her young and in-love parents.  Welcomed by a whole throng of doting aunts, uncles and cousins.  Immediately attached to two devoted grandparents.

Her childhood experiences could have been lifted from the pages of a storybook. 

Holiday traditions were established that first year and continued through her life.  Summers were spent outside.  Running, playing, exploring.  Well into her adolescence, she celebrated the first year she managed to avoid the inevitable bee sting that became as much a part of the season as bike-riding, hiking and trips down to the garden.

Life was easy and innocent, as it could only be for a child.  When the biggest concerns were which cousin would be her playmate, how much chocolate milk and cartoon-watching could be negotiated, what little trinkets her aunts and uncles would surprise her with and how fast she could make it to her papaw's arms when her grandmother playfully chased her through the house.  He was base.

She felt safe and loved almost every moment of her young life.

Her grandmother and many of her teachers always pushed her to make education a priority.

Not unlike thousands of other girls of her age and in her country, she received a college degree, began a fulfilling middle-class-wage career and embarked on a very happy life with a handsome man who stole her heart and then fiercely protected it.

This story isn't at all unique until you realize that -- statistically -- it never should have happened.

This little girl grew up in a rural, isolated community where the supply of jobs was inversely related to the beauty of the mountains surrounding her.  The 2010 U.S. Census placed her home county as second poorest in the nation, with a median household income of $18,869. 

Even adjusted for inflation, her family made much less than that.  It wasn't two-dollars-a-day poverty but still qualified them for every government-assistance program around.  Her mother had completed high school, her father just seventh grade.  They divorced when she was ten years old.  He was an abuser of substances and of people.  Ironically, not in that order.

She credits a higher power for orchestrating her deliverance from the life typically lived by girls born into her circumstances.  Those who deny that kind of power cannot deny the influence of the caring, involved adults in her life.  The people (and the programs) who stood between her and the abuse (and the consequences of abuse) that could have been.

I worked for a lady at a child abuse prevention agency in Kansas who often said 'we'll never know what we prevented.'  That's true.  And we'll never know exactly what this little girl's life would have been like were it not for her extended support system. 

The possibilities sometimes haunt me though because -- as you may have figured -- she is me.

Neither I nor my family realized at the time the extent to which my risk factors were being counter-balanced by protective factors.  Such clinical terms hadn't even been invented yet.  Back then it was simply family looking out for their own.  Community rallying around a child, of great value just for being.

And though the terminology has changed, child abuse prevention looks exactly the same today.

Get involved in children's lives.  Be a positive influence and make a difference for them.  However you can -- in little and big ways. 

As an extended family member, it may feel like only a meaningless game played, idle time spent or a cheap toy given.  As a friend or neighbor, it may be only a smile, a quick hug or an afternoon activity.  As a teacher, it may seem to be just another day on the job.  In reality, though, it is building a happy, healthy, stable adult.

And to all those who pitched in during my childhood and made my life great, thank you.  You are the epitome of efforts to strengthen communities, families and children. 

I'm so glad we have no idea what you prevented.

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April is Child Abuse Prevention Month.  For more information, you may visit www.pinwheelsforprevention.org .

I encourage you to get involved in your local PCA State chapter.  Learn more at www.preventchildabuse.org . 

And you don't have to reside in a state to support their efforts.  Having worked for both, I am especially partial to the chapters serving states that begin with the letter 'K.'
Kansas: www.kcsl.org
Kentucky: www.pcaky.org 

For those who have no choice. (yet)

God is good, and one day I won't be a [slave] anymore.
-Bill Nathan, Haitian child slave at age 8 -- after a beating -- to his owner, as shared by Ben Skinner in A Crime So Monstrous



There are more people living enslaved on our planet today than ever before.  27 million men, women and children.  In the United States of America, where we pledge liberty and justice for all, and 160 other countries.

To clarify, that number is not based on a loose definition of slavery.  But rather of one human completely controlling another human person through violence or threat of violence, with no pay and no ability to leave. Usually for forced labor or forced sex.

In the time since you started reading this, another sweet little innocent child has been sold into that definition of slavery.  For as little as 50 U.S. dollars.

What will her life be like? What will she be used for?

I try to imagine what it would feel like to be a slave. I try to imagine the depth of evil, or cultural complacency, it would take to enslave and use a fellow human in such a grisly manner. But I can't handle it for very long and always come up short.

The snippets of modern-day slave stories I've been able to stomach lead me to believe her experience will most likely be horrifically gruesome, to say the least.  I can't bring myself to type it.

If you were not aware of Earth's persisting slavery epidemic, this is not news meant to overwhelm you.  Though you may be feeling overwhelmed.  And I actually tried to keep the shock-factor as minimal as one possibly can when dealing with a topic as horrendous as human trafficking and slavery.

Because I want to focus on the flip-side to the modern-day slavery story.  It is a story of hope.  Well-founded hope.

Said another way, the percentage of people living enslaved on our planet today is smaller than at any other time in history.  Yes, there are more slaves in number, but it is also true that there are more of us free and capable of freeing them than ever before.  Some who are better informed on this issue than I am say we can free every last one of them in one generation.  And completely prevent the bondage of future generations.

Free people are rising up -- in groups and individually -- and doing the work to free others.  Entire organizations are devoted to the effort.  And they are making a difference.

Bill Nathan's words proved prophetic.  He was freed and now works to free others through a boys' orphanage in Haiti.  All 27 million brothers and sisters in bondage can say those same words.  It is true for each of them.

One day no one will be bought or sold, chained or beaten.

One day all children will keep their childhoods and their innocence.

One day every little girl will be cherished, every woman valued for her full worth, every boy nourished, every man respected.

One day there will not be any slaves any more.

The only question is, what part will you play in realizing that day?

END IT.

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This post is in honor of Shine a Light on Slavery Day.

I am so thankful to say that there are far more organizations, people and efforts to end slavery and human trafficking than could ever be included in a blog post.  To learn simple (or not-as-simple) ways that you can get involved, visit www.enditmovement.com .  They provide a lot of helpful information and links to some (but not all) organizations working to free people.

If you would like a peek into the reality of modern-day slavery, the END IT Movement website also contains a list of informative books.  A quick internet search will yield plenty of reading material.  Be warned, it's worse than you think.

Statistics and information used in this post were taken from the END IT Movement campaign, the CNN Freedom Project, and the writing of slave-advocates Kevin Bales and Ben Skinner.