Six Hundred Bibles

Ling longed to have a complete Bible of her own so she could study it and help other believers understand it. So when she heard that a woman only four miles away had Bibles available, she couldn't get there fast enough. It turned out a woman had a few Bibles that had washed ashore after members of a Christian mission group had been forced to throw them overboard while attempting to smuggle them into China at night. Some believers along the shoreline had recovered the Bibles, and this woman had carefully dried the pages one by one in the sunlight.
When Ling asked her for one of the Bibles, explaining how God had called her to preach the gospel, the woman became alarmed. "No, no, no!" she answered. "These Bibles are very valuable. Do you know how hard it is to get a Bible? And how do I know you are even a believer?"
Ling persisted in her pleadings, but was unsuccessful. The woman would not part with a single one of her Bibles. Poor Ling looked so crestfallen the woman told her that if she could recite the Lord's Prayer without a single mistake, she would reconsider.
Ling left, encouraged that there still might be hope. She traveled back to a village where she knew there was a Bible in the home of an elderly believer. The brother cherished the Bible with a holy reverence, and when Ling saw it, she understood why. The old man's Bible was completely handwritten. In fact, the brother's hands were now permanently twisted from the thousands and thousands of hours he had spent carefully copying each verse character by character.

Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and Their Stories of Costly Faith, page 204-205

Today Johnie and I send our six hundredth Bible overseas. I have so many emotions.

A little more than ten years ago, just a few months after we were married, we bought our first home and moved in. I felt completely overwhelmed by home ownership. I worried that a small leak would require a complete roof reconstruction that would surely bankrupt us. We argued about whether or not to install lawn sprinklers. They're very common in Kansas, but I grew up in Kentucky (where the rain takes care of the ground) and am pretty cheap to boot. I could not fathom spending time and money to pour perfectly good water out on the grass, even if it was brown. What a waste.

I was homesick. I was struggling to love this big dull city I had landed in the middle of. I felt vulnerable without mountains and lifelong friends and family around me.

I didn't know what to do with my time. Should I work? Should I volunteer? Should I have a baby? (No. But was I wrong to feel that way?)

It was during this time that my eyes were opened to modern-day Christian persecution. I didn't realize our brothers and sisters were being tortured and martyred in other parts of the world. I heard some of their testimonies. I read Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand. And I bought a book that would forever change my life: Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and Their Stories of Costly Faith.

These were eight unimaginable stories of women living and breathing on the same earth I was living and breathing on. They were ripped from their families. Tortured. Faced with unthinkable circumstances and still praised the Lord.

The roof. The sprinklers. The skyscrapers and one way streets. The distance between me and my family. They all faded away. I saw how insignificant all of those things actually were and just how significant faith and service to God are.

I was convicted anew of a love for the Holy Word when I read the story of Ling, a woman in China who became a Christian as a young girl and would walk from village and village to read and copy and memorize snippets of the Bible. She worked toward getting her own copy of the full Bible for many years before she finally secured it. And then she dedicated her life to sharing it with others. She eventually began smuggling Bibles to churches in China and faced several prison sentences and was tortured for those efforts. Still she persevered and never gave up on her mission. Each time she was released from prison, she continued to share the Word.

I read this story from the comfort of my climate controlled living room couch. With multiple copies of the Bible on my bookshelf. Days and weeks would sometimes pass without me even opening one. And while I relaxed in apathy, she risked her life and well being for that same book.

I read her story in 2007. It ended:

Ling now has a vision for the International Olympics, which is coming to Beijing in 2008. She believes this will be an incredible opportunity for the house churches to grow and flourish. Back to work...

I am one of the least evangelic Christians around. After I outgrew a horribly embarrassing vocal and ugly (and wrong) condemnation of others phase in my teenage years, I don't really feel compelled to share scriptures or verses or sermons. I usually live out my Christianity in other ways, and thank God for those who are called to evangelism. (I think its part of the beauty of a body with each member serving their own function.) But I wanted to help Ling distribute Bibles. If people were literally dying for a copy of this precious book, the least I could do was help them.

The same organization that published the Hearts of Fire book had a program called Bibles Unbound. For $30 a month, they ship five Bibles to people in the underground church who request them. The Bibles are translated into their native language and packaged in such a way to look like a non-religious book.

At the time Johnie and I didn't really have any disposable income to speak of. We would have to cut something out to take part in this program. Giving up a meal out each month seemed like a small sacrifice in the face of a sister who was giving up her freedom. So we signed up.

I was given the names of the Bible recipients each month, and in those first few months I actually packaged the Bibles up myself to mail out. I would hang the names on my refrigerator and pray over those people.

Month after month ticked by. Johnie got a promotion and I got a full-time job and we no longer even felt that monthly donation for the Bibles. Eventually, I opted for the organization to send the Bibles on my behalf in an effort to help expedite the process and cut down on overall shipping costs.

I signed up for the "where most needed" option and was given a ministry page. It felt uncomfortable. The header: "Mission Page of Mrs. Amy Rose Karr." I'm not 90. (I was uncomfortable with "Mrs." and "Karr" at that point in my life but I've grown into them over the years.) And how was a small monthly donation a "mission?" It felt too grandiose for my little contribution.

But over the years, my "mission page" has grown. Bibles I sponsored have been sent to North Korea, Indonesia, Vietnam, Hmong, China, Nepal, Sri Lanka, India, Pakistan, Iran, Egypt, Ethiopia, Nigeria, Columbia, Cuba and Chiapas, Mexico. And now there are nearly 600 names to scroll through (a few dozen Bibles were given covertly, so I only know the name of the field worker who distributed them).

When Johnie and I sponsored those first five Bibles, we weren't sure if we'd sponsor any more. There have been times when we haven't missed the money as it left our account. And other times when we have scrounged up the funds for that month's donation knowing we might not have one the following month.

But, by the grace of God, the story of a young girl in China reached a young, self-absorbed girl in Kansas. And even though she didn't really appreciate or share the Bible as she should, she was motivated to take a small step to send out a few Bibles to unknown Christians overseas. How beautiful is the work of the Lord.

I share this because I grapple, like many, with things like my purpose and my calling and God's will for my life day-to-day. Should we buy this house or this car or this bar of chocolate? Do I really need a smartphone or a TV? How many toys should a two year old have? Should I lay in bed and pray or push through and get out and get some work done? Or just watch TV? Is this vacation too much? How do I honor the Sabbath? To what, specifically, should I give my time and my money and my attention? How in the world do I make things different? When should I speak up? When should I step back? What, for the love of God, should I even do?

I've made a lot of mistakes and I've gotten a lot of things wrong.

Once when I was listening to a radio story a few years ago about a child just coincidentally meeting their sponsor after they grew up, I began dreaming of how beautiful that would be in my own life. I was driving around Kansas back in those days training nurses on a parent education program to reduce stress (and abuse) related to early infant crying. Those early mornings and late nights on the road I often asked God, "What have I prevented? Will I ever know if any lives were actually saved or bettered from all of this?"

And as I began to imagine one day, possibly from Heaven, getting to see the actual reach of my God-blessed efforts, I realized that it would pale in comparison to all of the people I have passed by and not helped. If the Lord ever showed me the extent of the damage I have caused or allowed to occur because of my actions and inactions, I don't think I could bear it.

It was a crushing thought to me then, but I feel like I have gained a better perspective over the years. The Lord can fix my ignorance and my disobedience. His grace covers me. And it covers my shortcomings.

For a long time I focused on all the things I didn't do well enough. There's plenty there to keep a mind busy. But I have decided instead to focus on the things I am getting right. Though $30 is a meager offering from a comfortable middle class American, the Lord can bless it and multiply it over and over and over again. And if you keep offering up your "little" service, eventually five Bibles become 600 spread all over the world.

This is a time of year when we consider generosity and resolutions and changes in our lives and our habits. It is also a time when we get bogged down in grief from the past or anxiety for the future or dissatisfaction for the day. Turn instead to the little pieces of good you can do. Plant the seeds. The Lord will provide the growth. It may be awhile, or even a very long while, before you see any fruit, but it is there. Give your offering, whatever it is. The Lord will make it more than enough.

30/30 Bucket List: Go to Europe

We are ready to go.

-Viktor and Kristen Rozsa


The night I met Kristen she was wearing a strange hat.  She was trying to be a toadstool.  Her daughter, Emily, was dressed as a garden gnome.  It was a costume party at a mutual friend's home.

The next time I saw her she was wearing another strange hat.  She was trying to be a salt shaker.  This time Emily was a princess and new little baby Gabi was a pink fuzzy bug.  That was also the night I met her husband, Viktor, who was posing as a pepper shaker.  It was a year later at a costume party at a mutual friend's home.

By the time we would arrive at the annual Halloween party the following year, she and Viktor dressed as baristas with three (add newborn Lillian) of the cutest little frappuccinos ever, we would greet one another with warm hugs. As friends. And I would have seen her throughout the year -- dressed in normal clothing -- more times than we had kept track of.

It was a few months after that second party, after we had attended a dance recital for our friends' daughter with the Rozsa's and helped our friends move with the Rozsa's and celebrated a new page -- a new building -- for our church family with the Rozsa's, that Johnie and I sat on our couch to discuss what we felt like God was leading us to do in the upcoming year.

We do this every so often and it isn't unusual for us to have different goals and visions and dreams.  When we agreed in unison, even in the details, that we both were compelled to "support Viktor and Kristen" we knew that was one thing we would do right away.

Viktor and Kristen were (and are) preparing to become long-term missionaries in Hungary with One Mission Society.  Viktor grew up in Hungary and it was at an OMS English Camp there when he came to know Christ.  A few years later, he would travel to the U.S. to complete a theological education in hopes of returning back to Hungary with OMS to reach youth for Christ in the same way he had been saved.

It was in the U.S. that he would meet and marry Kristen, an Indiana girl with a heart for missions.  And together they decided to devote this season of their life to reaching Hungary for Christ.

I could write a whole series of blog posts on the work they have done and the sacrifices they have made in their efforts to get to Hungary.  And I'm sure I don't know close to all of it.  (But they would be embarrassed, and possibly even upset with me, and that would take a long time to write anyway.)

I will say: Their passion, their willingness to serve and their unique experiences and gifts make them stand out in a spectacular way.  Very, very rarely do we meet missionaries with the education, the fire and the deep-rooted knowledge of the culture to send to foreign fields.  That was obvious to us right away and is obvious to anyone who spends time with them.

But we have been blessed to get to know the Rozsas not just as missionaries, but as people.  As friends.  In the last year and a half, they have celebrated with us and mourned with us and stood beside us in the nitty gritty of everyday life.

And so when I pulled out the slip of paper from the bucket filled up at my party that said "go to Europe" everyone thought they knew the culprit: The Rozsas. 

They had already invited us to visit them in Hungary.  More than once.  And Johnie and I have always been open and eager for that possibility.  In fact, Viktor and Kristen hope to make it to Hungary before my next birthday and it isn't out of the realm of possibility that Johnie and I might visit them there.  In the next twelve months.

But they weren't responsible for this particular challenge.  Another party guest, who wasn't very familiar with the Rozsa's mission dreams, wrote that one down.  And he even apologized later when he realized I only had a year to complete such an expensive challenge.  He thought it was a true "before you die" bucket list.

Holding that slip of paper, I felt a twinge of resignation that I wouldn't be able to complete my bucket list this year. But I also had a bit, a tiny glimmer, of hope.  Hope that God would actually pull something off so grand as to send my friends to Hungary as missionaries and allow me to visit them there all in just a year's time. (Though Viktor and Kristen have been working toward this goal for several years.)

Because here's the deal: I've already decided that if I go to Europe in my thirtieth year it will be to visit the Rozsas.  But here's the even bigger deal: Whether or not I go to Europe ever doesn't really matter.  What really matters is getting people like Viktor and Kristen, full of heart and talent, there as quick as we can.  So they can join the exciting kingdom work already happening.

And as sad as it makes me to think of this family I have grown to love and depend on moving so far away for several years, it makes me even sadder to think of them not getting to live out this dream -- this calling -- they have given everything for.  It makes me even sadder to think of never knowing what positive difference they could make in Hungary.

Reading "go to Europe" instantly had an automatic, silent, "to visit Viktor and Kristen" attached to it for me.  And in the days following it was like "help send Viktor and Kristen" was added to my list as an extra challenge.  And so that is why this is the first challenge I am tackling. 

Not many people read this blog, but if each of you took the time to help with this goal it could make a huge difference.  And that is what I am asking of you.  Do what you can:

• Pray. This isn't the cop-out option.  It's the most important.  Pledge to pray for Viktor and Kristen, and Emily and Gabi and Lillian.  That they will remain strong and courageous.  That they will share the good news boldly when they get to Hungary.  That they will be given the resources they need to get to Hungary.  Pray for them daily.  Pray for their peace in uncertain times.  Pray for the hundreds and thousands of miles they travel each month to be safe and fruitful and as enjoyable as traveling from home to home and church to church with three little ones can be.  And pray for their encouragement and steadfastness and clarity to do what God has called them to.  Because as every missionary (and every human) would tell you, it doesn't always go like you thought it would.  Viktor and Kristen thought they would already be in Hungary.  And they still aren't sure they will get there as quickly as their revised plan would take them, an uncertainty that makes coordinating a move around the world even more difficult.
• Get to know them. Visit their blog, their missions page, their facebook page.  Follow them on twitter.  Call them or email them.  Invite them to your home or to your church to share their story.  You'll understand what I've said about them if you do.  And -- bonus -- if you live close enough and play your cards right, you might even get some of the best homemade pizza you've ever put in your mouth. Or Hungarian goulash. Or chocolate eclair. Or... I digress.
• Connect and share.  Tell others about Viktor and Kristen.  Your church family, your friends, your relatives, your co-workers and classmates.  They may be able to help or they may know someone who can.  
• Donate. If you are able, please consider donating to their mission (click here).  It takes money to get to Hungary and live there. This is impossible to accomplish without the funds necessary.  Every "little bit" is actually quite significant in helping them reach their goal. You can make a one-time donation, or a monthly pledge.  And your pledge can start now, or you can pledge to begin your support once they arrive in Hungary for their term. Small monthly pledges add up.  

On their blog, Viktor and Kristen said simply, "We are ready to go." And their life speaks those words louder than they could even shout.  They just need the resources.  Will you help?