Monday, April 20, 2015

What about the husband?

Goodnight. I love you.

I have always thought Johnie would be a great dad. It is so sweet to see him play with little ones. This was never reason enough for me to actually get pregnant though. Because, you know, I'd have to actually grow a full size baby inside my body, get it out somehow (still haven't figured out how that is supposed to work) and then be his/her mom for the rest of my life. I was content just to watch him with our nieces and nephews.

But if I'm getting this surprise, this is a part I look forward to. Watching Johnie in action.

I just had to laugh the evening I told him our news. I think I could have asked him for anything that night and he would have given it to me happily. No complaints. (That has since died down.) He held my hand as we watched TV that night. He went out to pick our dinner up. And brought home flowers. He volunteered to do several little chores I would normally do.

And if any of you know Johnie and his track record of trying to say sweet things and failing miserably...One night before bed I was telling him how I just couldn't get over how quickly everyone just got excited about this baby and already loved him/her. They already started making plans for the baby.

I just couldn't get there. "I just don't know," I said. "I mean, am I just going to miscarry? Am I even really pregnant? Is the baby going to come early or late? Or be sick or healthy? I just don't know anything about this baby."

"We know this baby has a really great mother," he said.

Did those words just come out of the mouth of the man who said we would never work when he was trying to convince me to date him? Yes, they did. More than one miracle was conspiring around me.

When people asked us how we were feeling I said, "nervous and scared." He said, "more excited than I thought I would be."

I didn't want to bother him with added stress at the beginning of his new job so I recruited my mom to go to my baby appointments with me. Only he already planned to go with me himself. And talked with his boss to work out a schedule that would allow him to work around my appointments.

One night we were running errands and it was a couple hours past dinner and I was very hungry. I decided a chicken breast (two, actually) from Bojangles would do it. But the lady at the drive-thru informed us it would take 12 minutes. I didn't feel like I had 12 minutes, so I made him take me to McDonald's. But the line there was around the building and I wanted chicken anyway. So I screamed. I've never done that before in my life. (I have screamed before... just not over having to wait a few minutes for food.)

He took me back to Bojangles and we waited for the chicken. A couple bites in I felt settled down and embarrassed for acting so horribly. "I'm really sorry," I said. "I don't know what came over me. There's no excuse for that."

"Ummm... you're growing a person. You need to eat. I think it's completely understandable. I can't even imagine how I would act." (At which point I hoped I really was pregnant... Otherwise my behavior would have been even more inexcusable.)

He's given me the "Amy, you're growing a person." pass plenty of times since we learned the news.

There are things he does stress out about. In the first 16 hours after the positive pregnancy test, he wanted to buy all the nursery furniture, pick out a name and make a decision about vaccinations.

Randomly, a couple weeks ago, he felt it imperative to change out several of our door knobs so they would be safer for the baby... when s/he starts walking. I asked if he felt like it was something he needed to do that day. He said yes.

And, little things will pop up every now and then that bring him pause or that put him in a bad mood. But mostly, he's just really sweet.

He began reading to the baby that first night. And each night before we go to sleep he kisses my belly and says, "goodnight, I love you." (He started that on his own.) Now that I think of it, he was the first person to ever tell the baby "I love you." Pretty sweet.

One night I asked him a question I wasn't even sure I wanted to know the answer to: "If you could go back, would you change things?" I had no idea what he would say. And I didn't even know what I wanted to hear. But he gave the most perfect answer I could think of given our surprise with this baby and my deep-seated quality time love language.

"That's a trick question... I really want to have longer with just you, but I already love this baby."

With all I am nervous about with this little one, the father isn't one. (I love you, Johnie! And thanks for being awesome!)